Milwaukee Biz Blog

Despite daily evidence from Washington and the entertainment industry to the contrary, truly powerful people do not resort to name-calling as a means of getting attention or being heard.

Crazy, I know.

We've all seen plenty of evidence showing how coarse our culture has become, and how juvenile. The name-calling in Washington and across the full spectrum of entertainment is shameful. Embarrassing, too, if you listen long enough. I have caught myself asking out loud, "Did you hear what you just said?!" as I listen to radio and TV news.

Sitcoms are worse, I'm told. I don't know. I don't watch them.

But lest we believe that the whole world is going down this particular drain, I have observed something quite different among some business leaders, educators, and bright young professionals.

Truly powerful people don't call other people names. They don't need to. They have learned how to present their point of view - even argument - with certainty and comfort in their position.
Instead of calling someone a derogatory name, they will challenge a decision or outcome based on information or process.

Reasonable people disagree. Confident people state their case and listen to opposing viewpoints. Truly powerful people take it to the next step to make things happen. They have no time for juvenile acting out or wasted time and energy involved in name-calling.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

It's wintertime in Wisconsin, and we've already had enough snow to last the entire season.
Just like last year, the snow came early and now, often. Drifts at the end of the driveway are as tall as me, which makes throwing snow off a shovel nearly impossible.
Every morning I wake up wondering if I'll have to clear snow before I can start the day. This morning there was no doubt. I went to bed last night with winter snow warnings in full play.
It's easy on days like today to feel worn down, with gloomy news from every sector of the economy piling onto nasty weather, and pessimists everywhere wailing about worse to come.
But I watched the trash man pull up to the snow bank at the curb this morning, his truck quiet on snow-packed roads. His hooded coat was heavy as he swung the trash, but he moved with strength and grace and an undisturbed ease, despite the challenging weather. I admired and appreciated that man this morning and thought how unsung the heroes who make our communities run day in and day out almost without our noticing. I'm glad I noticed today.
Later in the afternoon as I was shoveling snow for what I hope will be the last time today, my neighbor drove past on his way home from work. He told me not to struggle with the heavy plow droppings at the end of the driveway. Said he'd bring his snow blower to finish the job.
As I went back to shoveling the rest of the driveway, my neighbor on the other side guided his snow blower up the sidewalk and made short work of my plow droppings. He smiled and winked as he made his way back to his house and I thought to myself, such blessings I've had on a snowy Wisconsin day.
We Americans have a long and noble tradition. When times get tough, people help each other. I am touched to see it alive and well; grateful to live next door to such generosity.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

The political season has reached the final stages of a very long battle, and I'm dismayed by so much of what I see.

Professional journalists coming unglued. Bloggers spewing opinion spiked with venom - many displaying their lack of education with horrific spelling and grammar. Candidates judged on the basis of oratory skills, hairstyles, verbal gaffes and attractiveness of mates.

Shame on us.

We certainly live in a celebrity age and there is no doubt that people who matter little to what really matters get unwarranted time in the spotlight.

But there are others who stand to influence the course of world events who have become celebrities in this nation - our presidential candidates, for sure, along with people like Ahmadinejad, Putin, and others - who should be thought of in much more deliberate and educated terms.

Critical thinking is the first of five leadership skills I teach and if there has ever been a time for people to settle down and think critically, it is now.

The political environment has been frothy for nearly two years. Certainly the battle between the first woman and first Black presidential candidate has inflamed the passions of many. On the surface, this is progress to be celebrated.

But when we consider the nastiness of the battle and the continuing preponderance of petty and thuggish behavior, this nation has nothing to be proud of.

What we are witnessing does not call anyone to highest aspirations or achievements. It calls to our basest natures and our meanest tendencies to take out opponents in order to advance personal achievements. Is this what we want to teach future generations?

We are conflicted as a society. Do we want to be street fighters? Not necessarily. Do we want to join hands to sing Kumbaya? Not necessarily. We want people to know they can't mess with us. And we want people to know that compassion is important; that every one of us has a right to be who we are.

Cool. What does this mean for a self-governing nation?

How do we embrace, understand and come to decisions about issues that affect our future? Heated, emotional responses to heated, emotional taunts are not the answer. Judging people on their looks or oratory skills is dangerous. So is accepting what certain people say because they are "experts."

Stop. Take a deep breath. Consider what is most important to you and what you are willing to sacrifice to achieve it. Promises made during the height of a political battle for president rarely hold up. That's sad, but it's true.

Our nation was founded on a government by the people, for the people. Think hard on that. You are "the people."

Beyond the current politics, think about your life in general. Do you react with temperature, hot or cold, to people or events in your life? If so, you are at the mercy of others who can stir your emotions.
Critical thinking is about stepping back, getting a realistic view of the landscape, understanding the powers at work, understanding your "mission" and tendencies to react, and choosing the best pathway to an outcome you desire.

It's not easy. Your opponents will not automatically cave in because you have done your homework. Don't expect that.

But when you can get a handle on your emotions and automatic judgments, you'll be stronger in your ability to recognize people who will truly work for you and those who only want to count you in their column of supporters.

Whether you realize it or not, you control the destiny of your country. By all means, step up to that with pride and conviction. But before you do, please take the time to think critically.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

Most people hate getting stuck. Whether it's a problem at work, home or school, or being physically stuck in bad weather or traffic, immobility is irritating. We don't like being stymied and held down, so a natural reaction is to buck against whatever seems to be constraining us.

Which often makes matters worse. Remember the first rule of holes: When you're in one, stop digging.
When we stop digging, we gain time to reflect. This is precious time! Imagine a tangled fishing line or a knotted necklace. The fastest way to straighten it out is to lay it flat and inspect it. When you locate the tangle, you can usually tease it out by paying attention to which way the strands should go.

Problems. They're great catalysts for learning.

Think back to your last discovery. When you figured something out or got something to work again or accomplished something you had previously been unable to do, how did you feel? Did you get a little rush of adrenaline? Did your mind feel just a little sharper? Maybe you smiled? Or chuckled and shook your head? One of my favorite reactions is the often-laughter-laced, "Who knew?!"

Learning is fun! It proves to us that we have the capability to seek, discover, and master things. Learning to read, write, speak, dance, run, compete in athletic events, date, date again, understand the opposite sex on occasion, figure out a boss, access e-mail at a Wi-Fi hot spot, send photos and order stuff online, use chopsticks, speak a foreign language, drive a hybrid car, remove spots from a tie… just imagine all the things you've learned in the course of your life. How is it possible to get and stay stuck?

Here's how. The faster we move, the narrower our vision gets. Racecar drivers have a very narrow view of the world - it consists of the track and the control panel. When you compete with that kind of intensity, micro-focus is essential not only to competitiveness but sometimes to survival.

We celebrate focus in business. It helps us move fast and get more done. It also gets us digging holes every now and then. The irony in getting stuck is that the best solution is to stop. Stop and think. How did you get here? What options do you have for getting out? How will you proceed? Making even a simple plan is a smarter way to move forward than keeping your head down and digging faster.

Feeling stuck? Stop and learn. You'll feel better.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

I've been away from my blog and any sort of writing for quite some time. A long time, actually. In talking with Small Business Times executive editor Steve Jagler at the BizTech Expo recently, I justified my online silence with stories of client work, speaking engagements and general busy-ness. I'm just like most of my clients. So why would I use "Bored!" as a headline?

Because I AM bored! I have not been writing because frankly I've not known what I wanted to say. I was raised with the admonition, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I haven't had anything nice to say.

I'm bored with the negativity movement the permeates so much of our world today. I'm bored with people who like to point to everything that's wrong with …  well, everything. People who say, "I can't" or "We can't" or "It won't work."

I'm worn out with worries about gas prices, the economy, the environment, poor leadership, failing schools, teen pregnancy, guns, drunk drivers, stupid bosses, entitled workers and falling poll numbers for just about everything.
This litany of woe bores me. And I hope it's beginning to bore a lot of other people, too. Why? Because when we get bored we start looking for something to get interested in and excited about. That's when change has a chance.

I've been talking foolishness to a widening circle of influential people and I'm starting to see a few sparkles in their eyes and feel a tiny pulse of possibility. Here's what I've been suggesting: That we tour the state of Wisconsin to find things that are working - from school systems to businesses, from happy families to productive communities, from medical discoveries to disaster recovery strategies - and begin to teach what works to people who are bored with what doesn't.

It's about benchmarking success and sharing it - an Appreciative Inquiry model (for those of you who study such things) that asks what we want more of, not what we want less of. Why study failure when success is what we're after? Yes, there are deep lessons in failure, and they are worth learning. But failure and its lessons often come along the path of striving for success. We don't need to seek them out.

I've been talking about a bus tour, but maybe it's something different. What motivates me is not only boredom, but frustration at seeing small pockets of excellence that aren't big enough on their own to garner attention or funding, but that have an awful lot to teach others. We need to share this excellence!

We are in the midst of a contentious political season, which generates daily stories of bad behavior and ill will that do nothing to foster growth or prosperity, but instead further a cosmic bad mood and sense of doom for everyone. Where is the value in any of that?

Here's the call to action: Hit your reset button. What's done is done. Let's understand how things got to be the way they are and focus our attention on the levers for change. We may be able to use the ones in place and we may have to create new ones.

If you want to learn, I hope you'll get on the bus. If you've had success and have something to teach, please tell us where you are. If you have resources to further statewide education in success (which by the way could be shared globally) - a bus, gas money, hotel rooms, food, meeting rooms, technology, communication systems, energy, knowledge and experience, a database of contacts - please raise your hand if you're willing to help. Respond to this blog or e-mail me at execadvise@mac.com.

We've run out of time to be complaining about who or what isn't working. It's time now to figure out what can work and invest our minds and energies to see that what works, happens.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

It is the winter of our discontent in Wisconsin, where relentless snow, frigid temperatures and dangerous driving conditions are daily fare.

I'm an optimist by nature, and even I'm getting cranky. I'm tired of shoveling snow, maintaining my balance on icy sidewalks, narrowly missing accidents on snow covered and slippery roadways, and dealing with people who are perpetually angry and frustrated.

This weather certainly challenges a person's equanimity. It dampens initiative, dissipates energy, and generally grinds things to a state of surviving, not thriving.

And thus it calls forth resilience.

But what's the process of moving oneself from disgust and fatigue to determination and accomplishment?

It starts with the stories we tell ourselves about what's going on and what we can do about it. Global climate change might have something to do with this polar phenomenon or it might simply be part of a cycle of nature that has existed long before we got here and will continue its way long after we're gone.

If, as the global warming believers say, we humans have mucked up the environment with our selfish and careless ways, then we probably deserve all the misery we're experiencing. If, on the other hand, this is part of a normal process, then perhaps it's easier to grin and bear it, knowing that this, too, shall pass.

At risk of being considered a simpleton, I prefer an attitude of acceptance and forward movement over an angry or belligerent railing against something we cannot control.

When the snow falls, we clear it away. We can't stop it and we can't determine how much or how little we get. Nature happens, we deal.

At the same time the weather is challenging us, we are enduring a political environment in which acrimony reigns, tongues unleash venom, and competitions become increasingly bitter. It's painful to watch. More painful, still, to hear the stories people tell themselves to explain their rage. Listen closely. The key theme is that opponents are stupid, greedy, cruel, even evil. Conflicting points of view degenerate to snarling attacks.

We are sinking into disgust and fatigue, forgetting about determination and accomplishment. There are reasons for our fatigue and we'd be foolish to paint smiley faces over them and pretend they don't exist. The world is far more complex than it used to be with problems that are perniciously unresponsive to quick fixes. This challenges both our equanimity and our resilience. But at some point we need to shake the fuzzy anger from our minds and put some energy behind finding a more productive way to live.

If you want to feel better, don't wait for the politicians or weather gurus to advise you. Change your stories. Change your responses to challenge. Use your abilities to listen, understand and reason, then decide what you're going to do.

We know that the weather will eventually change. Spring will bring robins and rain and maybe a flooded basement or two. Summer will bring open windows, Bermuda shorts, and stinging insects. Such is life in Wisconsin. Such is life in general.

When you confront challenge, you can fixate on what's wrong and blame the idiots who caused it or you can study the situation, decide on a solution and get busy. I've observed that the latter group of folks tends to be smarter, happier, more resilient and more successful. They also tend to be leaders.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

I'm a product of the 60s (sort of - I was a grade school kid), so I'm well schooled in the emergence and impact of The Sexual Revolution. Women on birth control became bolder in making their desires and availability known; men were cagily advised not to buy the cow when the milk was free.

All hell broke loose in subsequent years and today we have a society in which sex sells everything from razor blades to all variety of alternative lifestyles. That's nothing new, of course, but our preoccupation with body parts and innovative couplings carries an opportunity cost with regard to other aspects of human development.

This saddens me and I'm hoping the pendulum swings back soon.

What irritates me, keenly I might add, is the time I waste each day clearing my email of soft-porn messages encouraging me to consider fantastic bedroom adventures through enhancement of the "male package."
Since when does the name Susan suggest that particular anatomical structure? Yeah, I know it's blast email junk that cares naught for who receives it. But I truly resent the time and energy I invest in ridding myself of this crap, not to mention how disgusted I am to see so much of it.

Are men so worried?

After months of being inundated with such garbage, I was feeling pretty indignant. Why should I invest my hard-won resources to provide unintended receptacles for this nonsense? Worse, I started grieving our superficial and meaningless preoccupation with body parts at a time when the world really needs each of us to develop our greatest talents and gifts - our true character - to haul our increasingly dark world back from the brink of savagery.

Comic relief came today in the subject line of one of these messages and, with it, some perspective. The subject line said, "Grow a monster in your pants by New Year's." I laughed out loud.

The Sexual Revulsion is underway, not because human beings will ever turn their backs on natural and sometimes urgent desires. But we are more than our base urges and we have more to do than to pump up, get down, and turn out prodigy that no one is interested in teaching, guiding, or helping to shape the future.

Let's reinforce this revulsion by showing people, young and old, how the fire inside, whether it leaps in great flames or smolders with quiet intensity, is the true attraction factor. Let's remind people that what's between the ears and behind the eyes will always be more intriguing and have longer-lasting value than what the body can offer, no matter how many ways it is enhanced. A monster indeed.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

A lot of people struggle with decision making, as the same three pesky questions come up again and again.

1. What will happen if I do this or that?
2. What will others think of my decision (or more precisely, of me)?
3. What if I'm wrong?

Of course there's anxiety surrounding these questions because the answers are impossible to know until some action is taken. Once the action is taken, these answers become clear, although not necessarily immediately. In the face of the unknown, fearful imaginations can create some dire outcomes!

There's a better way to approach decision making.
Imagine that you're confronting a puzzle made up of three big pieces. The first is context. Context is the setting within which the decision rests. To get a handle on context, answer these questions: Where are you and what's going on relative to the decision? What factors weigh on the decision? What freedoms do you have; what limitations exist? What is your role in the decision and what stake do you have in the outcome? How are others involved and how will they be affected?

Context is important because most people like to repeat what has worked for them in the past. When it fails in a different setting, they get confused and sometimes upset. They tend to blame circumstances or the people around them for the failure because they remember that it worked before. Had they taken time to consider the context of the decision, they might have made a different call.

Using salty language in a locker room to buck up a team at halftime makes sense. Using the same language and attitude in a church service would be unthinkable. Context informs behavior.

The second piece of the puzzle is feedback. Feedback measures behavior by providing evidence of a reaction. Whether it comes from people, systems, reports or your body, feedback answers the question, "What will happen?"

A simple illustration that everyone has experienced involves dieting. Feedback comes in many forms when you eat. In the short term, bodily systems respond.In the longer term, your clothes continue to fit well or not, you stay healthy or get sick, you feel happy or sad about your appearance.

Feedback is always available. Whether you notice it or learn from it is entirely up to you.

The third piece of the puzzle is behavior. In this case, the behavior is your decision. As mentioned, context informs behavior and feedback measures it. A locker room and a church are two very different contexts that generally evoke different behavior. Most people are conscious of the adjustments they make in these types of arenas.

Then again, there is evidence to suggest that some behavior is becoming impervious to context. I'm thinking of cell phone usage.

Behavior also has the power to change context. Think of competitive moves in the marketplace and how the overall game or context can be altered.

Breakthrough innovation and disruptive change are highly visible behaviors, but secret alliances can be powerful context changers, as well. If you're watching for feedback, you'll catch on to these changes much more quickly. You can then choose to adjust your own behavior as quietly or publicly as you like.

Context, feedback and behavior are intertwined. What you see is not always what you get, and perception may or may not be reality. When faced with important decisions, it pays to take time to understand the context, watch for feedback and adjust your behavior to get the results you want.
It also pays to remember that with every decision you make, these elements will be repositioned and ready for your next choice.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.

There is something absolutely thrilling about watching a really good marching band, so imagine my delight in seeing eight drum and bugle corps from around the country perform at the Rotary Music Festival in Cedarburg recently.

The performances were awe-inspiring. Formations took shape on the stadium field almost magically and I marveled at the way members got to their positions, sometimes taking tiny baby steps and sometimes moving in great strides. The fluidity and grace of the performances gave testimony to remarkable athleticism and discipline of movement. Every step was on purpose and timed to perfection. And then there was the music! Incredible.

Drummers are the heartbeat of the show. Their long white cuffs emphasize the motion of their forearms and I was mesmerized by the crispness and absolute precision of their exhibition. The sound of drums beating in unison is enough to stir anyone’s soul, from the rat-a-tat on rims to the deep rolling power that sounds like thunder over the plains. The transition from one sound to another evoked a range of emotion and I wasn’t the only one with an occasional tear in my eye.

Before the show started, I heard parents talk about the rigorous training their kids endure as members of the corps. The first year is the hardest. They hate the relentless practice, the insistence of coaches that movements be done one specific way, the pressure to perform, the lack of relaxation time. Most kids want to quit.

For those who stay, a transformation occurs. Deep and lasting friendships develop over long hours of grueling and sometimes mind-numbing practice; confidence and pride grows, too, until it seems like it bursts out of them with every step they take. Kids become adults.

I was inspired as I watched the result of their hard work, sacrifice, and discipline. Their performances made me want to do more and be better. That’s what happens. Great work inspires others.

It’s difficult to do great work because the rewards don’t come right away. Sometimes it takes years to see the positive results of conditioning and practice. Many give up long before. I guess that’s what separates those who truly aspire to greatness and those who want it but are unwilling or unable to invest in the discipline to attain it.

Performance by a drum corps, or any performing artist, is truly a celebration of discipline. It got me thinking of other instances in which discipline creates pride and happiness. I thought of chefs, miners, students, engineers, race car drivers, athletes, soldiers, and moms. To be proficient at any work requires learning, practice, and endurance. When people make up their minds to be the best, they accept the sacrifice and pain that often go with it.

How about you? Do you aspire to greatness? Do you want your work to inspire others? Will you embrace perseverance in your chosen vocation or avocation? If so, you can look forward in time to your own celebration of discipline.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.
 

Contrary to the current popular belief that political correctness is the way to acceptance, I'd like to suggest that telling the truth is a powerful way to establish and fortify trust.
When I say this, I am frequently asked, "Whose truth?"
I used to be somewhat taken aback by this question because truth seemed an obvious thing to me. Truth is truth, isn't it? Well, no. It's not that simple. We live now in a world in which facts are shaped to serve specific purposes and powerful coalitions form around particular versions of truth.
Information comes at us from so many sources that it's hard to keep track of what's real and what's invented. The Internet brings us many tall tales that we are at a loss to verify or denounce. Opinions vary depending on an incredible array of factors. At the same time, diversity is encouraged and celebrated. Given this, there's no real right, no real wrong, and a definitive position is cast in harshly negative terms.
What the result of all this? Confusion. Wariness. Distrust. Fatigue. Apathy.
These are not the building blocks of success! Nor are they the keys to a successful future for anyone.
So, whose truth should you tell? Your own.
This is a scary proposition for many, maybe most, people today. The notion of being approved, liked and welcomed into some circle of importance creates powerful pressure to take the temperature of a group you want to be part of before committing to any position.
Even in friendships, I hear people tell fibs to maintain relationships. But friends on both sides of a fib feel something in their gut that makes them suspicious of each other. They want to trust, and they really like their friend, but something doesn't feel right, solid or true.
Telling the truth has become an art form. Maybe it always has been, I don't know. But the way a person tells the truth has an awful lot to do with the way it is accepted.
Generally speaking, over-the-top energy (high drama) limits the acceptability of a truth. Passion, in other words, has its place.
Heresy, you say! Yes, I have been criticized for downplaying passion because "everyone" knows that passion is the source of energy and success. Consider this: Passion has many faces and temperatures. It can be cool and precise as well as hot and animated.
And this leads to another argument over truth. If you feel hot and animated and the situation you're involved with calls for coolness and precision, aren't you lying if you acquiesce to the occasion? Aren't you lying by acting cool when you feel hot?
Here's where the power of telling the truth really shines. When you know what's what inside yourself, it doesn't matter whether you tell it hot, cool or somewhere in between. It doesn't matter how the person hearing it reacts to it or feels about it. Your truth is your truth. Others have their truths, which you are happy to hear because you don't feel the need to agree or disagree, refute or support.
In this way, telling the truth becomes a powerful means of establishing trust because you become trustworthy. You know what is true for you and you accept the fact that others may have a different truth. You don't need to change your truth to be more acceptable to others and you don't require them to adopt your truth in order to stay in relationship with you. You share different perspectives in a spirit of respect and curiosity.
What an amazing difference this could make in virtually every aspect of our lives today!
Of course the first step is in figuring out what your truth is. Start with something small and silly. What food do you want to eat this weekend? Tell the truth. If you want pizza, say so. If you want steak, say so. If you want seafood or salad, Twinkies or HoHos, vegan or sushi, say so. Get in touch with what's true for you and say it out loud. You may be surprised at how happy others are to oblige.
When it comes to bigger issues, take time to figure out what you really think. When you speak frankly while respecting the fact that others may differ, you sow the seeds of a powerful trust relationship. Don't be surprised when people not only accept you, but begin to seek you out. Truth fosters trust.

Susan Marshall is a consultant and founder of Executive Advisor LLC in Oconomowoc. She also is the author of "How to Grow a Backbone." For additional information, visit www.executiveadvisorllc.com.